The Parent-Teacher Partnership

Partner with Parents When You Can

Parents can be partners. Talk to them. Discuss how you can work together.

Have you ever judged your student’s parents before your met them? Have you judged them after getting a small piece of information from them, like their economic status or their career? What if your conversation started within the first few days of school and you talked about your high hopes for the students? What if you kept in contact and celebrated their child’s growth? Do you think you’d create a trusting relationship?

The Science I Explored

Paul Zak, the author of The Neuroscience of Trust, showed that when we trust others, they reciprocate by becoming more trustworthy and more trusting because their brains create oxytocin. This makes us feel more trusted and trusting, which generates even greater trust in them.

Multiple studies have shown that psychological safety is a key feature of great teams. In her TED talk, Harvard Professor Amy Edmundson defines this as “a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes. It describes a team climate characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect in which people are comfortable being themselves.”[1] 

A Situation

The school year is about to start, and the teacher is ready to create a welcome letter to parents and children. All the usual information is included like welcoming them back, expectations, and hopefulness for a good year and a fun and safe learning environment.

Partnering with Parents

Partnering with parents is mainly about trust.  So, in addition to the welcome letter, call the parent or parents (or meet them virtually) to discuss your shared purpose for their child. Ask questions as if you were the owner of the business and wanted to provide a great service. And actually listen to the parent’s ideas and hopes a.k.a care. Share your excitement, ideas, thoughts, and your purpose. Jot bullet points about the conversation. Be upfront about things you can and cannot provide.

An educator serving 120 students will differ from and educator serving 25 students. Be sure the parents have a way to contact you. It is best to connect with parents at the start of the school year. You need their partnership, and it cannot be assumed.

Be sure not to get caught up in their personal drama, though.  Just listen and converse, without judgment or opinion. If you do not sense danger for your student, end the conversation politely with “Let me let you go.”

Otherwise, you should be able to imagine the smiling or even teary eyes of a parent who knows you listen and care about them and their child. Say it with me: “I know how to partner with parents.”

Quotes

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.

—Henry Ford

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.

—Helen Keller

Gear!

[1] Dr. John Eliastam, “The Neuroscience of Teamwork,” Business Hi-Lite, Accessed December 20, 2020, https://www.businesshilite.co.za/2019/02/14/the-neuroscience-of-teamwork/.