X-Ray Yourself
- DFDarwoodWrites
- Apr 6
- 5 min read
We can look at ourselves for many reasons; to see our 'why', to find an answer, or to get at the cause of something. Whatever reason you choose, the goal is to gain control and not make yourself a victim to the changing world and people around you.
Quick Story
Back in 2015, my parents ended up living with me for about five months—from August through sometime in December. Their apartment in Brooklyn was being renovated by my oldest son, who wanted to give them an upgrade.
Before they moved in with us, they were staying at a long-term hotel just a few miles away so I could help my mom manage my dad’s Parkinson’s-related mobility issues. Every morning, I’d drive over to the hotel to help her get him dressed and ready for the day. I was young, healthy, and capable—no problem, right?
Well, I had just opened my own school. The weeks leading up to the grand opening were packed. I was working alongside friends and family—especially my oldest son and his team, who replastered all the ceilings in the little schoolhouse. I was sending out welcome letters and info packets to incoming families, and even hosted a “Meet the Teacher” day before school started in September.
Needless to say, I was in over my head. My two younger kids—ages 9 and 4—would “help” at the school, along with my husband. But truthfully, he handled everything related to the little ones, because there just wasn’t enough of me to go around.
As we neared the time for my parents to return home, I had just survived my first wave as a school owner—thanks to a wonderful team of teachers. We made it to our first long school break in December. After putting on a winter performance and celebrating with our school families, I thought I’d finally be able to exhale.
But I was wrong.
On that last day before the break, after all the teachers had gone home, I sat alone in my office crying—because that same morning, my cat of 17 years had died. He had fallen suddenly ill, and my husband took him to the vet, but there was nothing they could do.
I remember thinking, “This can’t be what it’s supposed to feel like to have a school!” I was overwhelmed. But when I calmed down, I realized—it wasn’t the school. It was everything happening at the same time, and me having no control over any of it.
I was physically exhausted from stepping into a caregiving role. I was scared because I’d never owned or operated a school before. I felt guilty because, for a few months, I was just giving my own children the bare minimum. And I was sad and helpless watching my cat’s health decline, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.
When I looked at myself, I knew I was on an emotional rollercoaster without a single tool to help me navigate the ride. That’s what led me to create my book about emotions—and how to manage them.
Now, nearly 10 years later, there’s going to be a second iteration of that book, because I’ve learned so much. These days, I can pause and ask myself, “What is this feeling, and where is it rooted?” followed by, “What can I do to shift myself out of it?”
I’ve learned that shifting takes time—and that it’s okay to take that time, as long as I also take one small action to help myself. That simple act of stopping, checking in with my true emotions, and not distracting myself from them—may have saved my life.
The Science we Know so far...
According to a Psychology Today article entitled The Brain's Ability to Look within - A Secret to Self-Mastery by Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. "Most of us prioritize externally oriented attention. When we think of attention, we often think of focusing on something outside of ourselves. We "pay attention" to work, the TV, our partner, traffic, or anything that engages our senses. However, a whole other world exists that most of us are far less aware of an internal world, with its varied landscape of emotions, feelings, and sensations.
It is often the internal world that determines whether we are having a good day or not, whether we are happy or unhappy. That’s why we can feel angry despite beautiful surroundings or feel perfectly happy despite being stuck in traffics. For this reason, perhaps, this newly discovered pathway of attention may hold the key to greater well-being.
Although this internal world of feelings and sensations dominates perception in babies, it becomes increasingly foreign and distant as we learn to prioritize the outside world. Because we don’t pay as much attention to our internal world, it often takes us by surprise. We often only tune into our body when it rings an alarm bell that we’re extremely thirsty, hungry, exhausted, or in pain. A flush of anger, a choked up feeling of sadness, or the warmth of love in our chest often appear to come out of the blue."
Activity/Journal Activity I've Done Before...
Looking within: Am I having strong feeling about something in my life? Is there a root cause? Am I loving myself? How do I show it? How? Am i working on my personal growth? When? Am I protecting my mind? How? Am I cherishing my body? How? Am I working on my spiritual growth? When? Do I accept my role for this moment in my life?
When I look within at the intentions of my actions, the cause of my feelings, or for the answer to a deep question, what do I find? Write about it the most honestly way possible.
Quotes and Interpretations
Check on your inner joy. Happiness within breeds love for yourself and others. It’s an inside job.
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Harriet Tubman
Going within is the only way to examine and conquer our fears. The answers all lie within us.
True inspiration pours out into the world from our innermost spirit, from our soul.
The world we encounter is a result of the world within our hearts.
Look within and rescue yourself.
Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in its words, but in the silent lines of its lips and face, and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint of your body. Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig. Marcus Aurelius
It is my intention to be a blessing, have positive impact on the masses. I truly believe that if we help the adults, we will save our children. Ultimately, my actions are for the children. Please share with a friend.
We'll talk soon.
DF
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