Care For Others
- DFDarwoodWrites
- Apr 14, 2024
- 3 min read
Caring, but not to depletion. Just getting out of your own haze of self-pity.
Quick Story
Nowadays and in the past, I've prepared large batches of soup (and other meals) for my aging parents. I've styled my mother's caregiver's hair. And it all feels good. I even grew potatoes once to put in the soup. And carrots on another occasion. I put together hair growth serums to use on the caregiver's scalp! It feels good to know that I have enough strength and ability to do these things. And when it became too much. I took a break because I was breaking. I was feeling helpless, tired driving home from my parents at night, incomplete with my two younger children and husband. And I was soaking in their 'need'. I took time to consider things, change perspective, and alter my routines. And now, I've started back again because I feel stronger. So, when I say, 'Care for others', it can't be at your own expense.
What we know so far
So, there are two important ideas we're talking about: caring for others and feeling what others feel, called empathy. These are different but both help us do nice things for others. Some studies have shown that when people believe in caring for others, they tend to do more helpful things, like giving to charities that help people.
Helping others can be complicated because there are many reasons why we might want to help someone. For example, sometimes we help because we feel what they're going through (empathy), and other times we help because we believe it's the right thing to do (caring for others).
The study
looked at how much people care about others and how it relates to helping. They found that caring about others seems to be linked with helping people in general, like giving to charities. But it might not be as strongly linked with helping specific individuals.
Finally, when we face tough choices about who to help, like helping someone close to us versus helping someone far away, caring for others might not give us a clear answer. In those situations, empathy might make us more likely to help people close to us, while caring about others might guide us to help those in need, no matter where they are.
Summarized from Bekkers R, Ottoni-Wilhelm M. Principle of Care and Giving to Help People in Need. Eur J Pers. 2016 May-Jun;30(3):240-257. doi: 10.1002/per.2057. Epub 2016 Jun 6. PMID: 27867258; PMCID: PMC5111750.
An Activity that I've done to help me get out of my own self-pity / why-me' pattern.
Describe a time someone went above and beyond to care for you, or you witnessed or participated in such an act of 'above and beyond' caring. How does that make you feel?
Quotes and Interpretations of Quotes
Even if only a few care, that ‘few’ can change the world.
Caring leads to a sense of community.
We can find triumph in care for others.
From now on, treat others with care and no thought of a reciprocity and notice the change in your life!
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Theodore Roosevelt
Even as we care for others, we must still care for our own well-being; emotional, physical, and spiritual.
Even mammals in the forests and jungles show care for their loved ones.
Genuine care does not feel like bondage. It feels like happiness.
If we learn anything from our ancestors, it’s that the survival of the human species depends on care for each other.
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